Given that I’m a week into September and haven’t written anything substantial in quite a while, I felt the need to write a public-facing post here.<\/p>\n
Guilt can really send someone into a spiral.<\/p>\n
It’s not that I feel guilty about life in general. I have a wonderful wife that I spent quite a bit of time with. I have the best son ever in the Peanut, and I never feel like I don’t get to spend enough time with him. I spend time volunteering for projects with my church. I helped my brother pour a concrete slab and start framing out a new garage. I’ve switched over to baking all our own bread, rather than buying from the store. (The wonderful wife still does virtually all the other cooking.) I spent time helping on the family farm because my dad was badly injured in a horseback accident and the family needed help.<\/p>\n
But what I haven’t been doing is\u00a0writing<\/em>.<\/p>\n The worst part is feeling guilty about it, because it paralyzes my ability to write. Then I feel more guilt, and the process repeats.<\/p>\n Contract Hunt<\/em> has been over half done for quite some time, but my progress on it for several months now has been minimal…because of the loop.<\/p>\n It’s not unlike the problems I’ve struggled with in the past with depression. I had bad, bad problems with it in college; the depression and the guilt for screwing things up (because I was depressed) built on each other and paralyzed me, until I had a whole mountain of screw ups and I couldn’t dig my way out. It cost me an extra year of college (I should have been done in four) and a planned career path (education).<\/p>\n So now, the site is back up to date. The manuscript is laid out in Word, holes and all.<\/p>\n It’s time to\u00a0write<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Given that I’m a week into September and haven’t written anything substantial in quite a while, I felt the need to write a public-facing post here. Guilt can really send someone into a spiral. It’s not that I feel guilty … Continue reading